good morning.
in less than twenty four hours, it will be a new day and a new year. and since i usually take more than an hour to blog, i think i'll just blog now. rather than wait till it's almost midnight and then rush though it. after all, the last post of the year. it has got to be meaningful don't you think? well, i just finished reading thought seventeen after i watched a movie on ch5 with mama. i better get started, before mummy comes home and i end up rushing this post again.
with every new year, there will always be new year resolutions. it always was easier to make new year resolutions. for one, i was always going to be starting school. resolution number1, study harder and consistently. resolution number2, don't miss a single day of school. resolution number3, don't play too much and end up neglecting homework. and in my past 12 years of study, i cannot say that i have kept all three resolutions. but this year, my results are coming in during march. and even after that, i've got a few more months before i start university. that is, if i can get into a university. but everything's changing. i'm starting my year differently. but i do have a few new year resolutions. resolution number1, do not miss a single day of work. seeing as how working is to increase my cfp funding as well as for my university fund. to miss a day of work, is to lose precious money for my education. nevertheless, spending money on people i love and for people i love, is still a must. amanda will find a way out, she always does. with that aside, resolution number2, remain happy, even in the face of most dire circumstances. seeing as how i'll be receiving my 'a' level results and then, possibly uni posting, i think i would require a whole lot of courage and strength to stay happy in such dire situations. resolution number3 is looking to be very bleak, even now. i am known, to some people as a very pessimesitc person. but if you knew what had been happening the past few weeks, resolution number3 would seem bleak to you as it is to me. resolution number3, try to be on better terms with family members. i don't want to be pessemistic and all, but i don't seem how a new year can help improve on our relations. i must admit, i haven't been the best cousin or niece in the world, but unlike some people, i do not pay lip service to wishes and wants and yet do nothing. because in my eyes, that is just plain hypocritic. well, i guess up till now, 12.36am on the 31st of decemeber 2006, i only have 3 resolutions that i have thought of. i have considered putting 'finishing all my stories' under resolution number4, but i figured that it really isn't a resolution. or is it? hahas. i'm not even entirely sure! but i am beginning to babble now, now that i have nothing much to say. on to the next topic!
i really have too many stories swimming in my head. so far, i've got at least 9 or 10 down on paper. i've got a few scenes from another 2 or 3 stories written out. and yet i constantly find things to do aside from finishing my stories. work has been a large factor of making me delay my writing. writing although a past time to me, has become a slight chore the past few months. i don't know why, but maybe because i have no time at work to write or no time in the day to write. now, comparing to my lunch breaks in school and literature breaks. reading, my other addiction has also taken up a larger portion of my time. because it's easier to fit in at work, and much easier to do on the way. i can't possibly lug my laptop to work only to work on one or possibly no chapter in the bus when there is a seat, or no seat at all can i? but i do intend on alloting sunday as writer's day. gaming day is saturday, i find that i can stay up later and hence more gaming time. writing, can be squeezed in during the weekdays if i don't feel so tired or if i've got extra time on my hands. gaming, is addictive and cannot be given half an hour on weekday nights. i'll end up sleeping at 2am and waking up late for work the next day. that will not do. so, from this monday onwards. sundays are for writing and publishing as well. hopefully before my results come out, i would have finished publishing 'will you stay?' and am starting on it's sequel. and then, there are my other stories. amanda sure has her work cut out for her!
lately, i've been having dreams. not the normal happy dreams of nothing in particular. but dreams that have extremely good plot. could be my writer mind, or it could just be nothing. i must say, the dreams border on the scary factor. and the fantasy. magic power, flying transportation, high tech gadgets, psyhic powers. the first dream i had, i might pen it down although there are rather wide gaps between the scences that i seem to have trouble filling in. as for the scary dreams, mummy woke me up in the middle of it. but for the scary dream, there is no plot. just houses, investigation, ghosts, images, whispers. it could be due to the too many movies i've been watching. or tv serials. and also the books i've been reading. i must say, nora roberts really is a very good writer. but that is beside the point. and the worst/best part of the dreams? i know i'm dream. and i seem to be looking in. always a player in the story. it would have been finr if it ended at that, but during the day, i get flashes. and trust me, it's beginning to freak me out. i can't stay in silence longer than 3 seconds. i stare at corners, like someone's looking back at me. i constantly need something to occupy my mind. maybe i'm going crazy, i don't know. i just want to be normal.
thoughts of him has also been coming back quite frequently. this time last year, i was in a hotel room with the family because aunty alice was here. and when i held that bottle to my lips, the only person i saw was him. now, i want to leave him in this year. leave him behind. because by just carrying him with me, is slowing me down and everyone's gaining ground. i refuse to be left behind, just because of him. did i mention, i got reaquinted with 'tong hua' on the hongkong trip. although i can say that listening to the song now doesn't bring about bouts of tears, or the ache in the heart, it still does bring to mind his face when he was on stage. some things are indeed hard to forget. i don't remember how he smells, or how warm his body felt when he hugged me. when i can't seem to forget his face. the last look i saw before i never saw him look at me again. funny don't you think? i don't remember his face when we were happy. or when he was smiling. i don't rememeber much, aside from that look. it's much harder to remember how my father looks like than to remember how nicholas looks like. maybe i should add this to my new year resolutions. resolution number4, forget nicholas cheang.
i don't know how the attached video is going to come out like. but if you can watch it, please do. and i apologize if because of the video, it causes your computer to lag. please let me know if it does, and i'll take the video away. this song is by jesse mccartney. just so you know. i saw the video just now after the movie. and i think i really am a sucker for heartfelt love songs. if i was rich enough, i'll have my own collection of romance novels in my room. and also a collection of love songs. but i'm not rich enough, not yet anyway. anyhow, reading this post must have allowed the video to load. so sit back and enjoy this three minute video. it really is nice. isn't he just fantablous?
Music Video Code By Urbnmixjesse mccartney - just so you knowhow could i have forgotten to blog about my outing with the two kiddos, i don't know. that morning turned out to be dry. that was until we were all dry and in the house when it started to rain, very heavily. we watched star wars and finally left the house, much to genestine's delight, at 2pm. we dropped at ps, and amanda lost another nail. so much so that i have already cut all my nails. i am not taking anymore chances. especially when it hurts, a whole lot. we raided the arcade. -yeah right- and ended up taking neo prints because they didn't have the machine genestine wanted to play. the neo prints turned out great! and despite our lack of knowledge of japanese, we managed to get though it all just fine! *smiles* the movie was great, although i almost lost my heart before that when genestine slipped on the steps! but luckily we caught hold of each other. so no bruises, amanda just lost a small portion of her heart. hahas. we stumbled on a nice stationery shop and the cashier, looked like yul! but the cashier was a girl! *looks shocked* then we all decided that yul looks a bit like a girl anyway. hahas. we then headed down for dinner where we didn't overeat! hahas. we had chicken, fish and beef. the sharing was fun and we had a jolly fun time of laughing our asses off! hahas. after dinner we sent steffie and genestine back to steffie's house. and another new discovery i made was that they play inuyasha episodes on arts central every wednesday, thursday and friday nights from 11pm to 11.30pm. *yahoo* i'm so happy! hahas. no need to wait for the episodes to load, and wonder if they have english subtitles or not! yippie! thank you steffie! anyhow, i think we should do it again, during the june holidays? we'll see how *smiles*
i should get going now. going to listen to my music and watch some more videos. and then, i'm going to sleep when mummy comes home. and then, it'll be sunday. church. and then, a countdown to 2007 later on in the evening. for all those who've felt 2006 to be the worst year of your life, 2007 should make for a better year, hopefully. and for those who believe that there can be no better year than 2006, everything can always get better, always. *hugs* sweet dreams. good night. don't let the bed bugs bite. *muacks* loveya!
<3 you always
