good afternoon.


it has been a horrible day thus far. i think this must be all due to the fact that i woke up at 7am this morning, on time. i must say the bus ride was all right, had a look at a cute baby boy and found a seat. but surprisingly, i didn't fall asleep. i was early, but ten minutes so i settled down to read my book. and then, the work day started. first, the courior came for the document, only to find that the building has been demolished. and so, in my nice girl tone, i asked her if the address was correct since the courior guy said that the building has been demolished and he should know better since he's the courior. she said that she had asked her contact and he said that the address was correct. and then she just said, call them and ask them for the address. low and behold, they had changed their fucking address! so amanda uses a new consignment slip and sends the nice courior off on his way. and then she decides to ask me to call her contact at the company to ask him to send her a damn name card. amanda grits her teeth and does it anyway, even when she just wanted to slap her.


after that, the wonderful news that what i had been furiously copying and pasting from the malaysian university's website is not needed anymore. so i smile sweetly as i get the list of the universities that the damn company would like to get the contacts of instead. and so i close the file and start on the next university in line. and then, *ring* *ring*, amanda picks up the phone and it's the lady from the company that i just sent the couior off to! she requests to speak to her and i transfer the call. she says "i'll speak to her contact name" and so i tell the kind lady, in my most polite voice since i was almost about to scream at her that she should answer her damn phone calls. the lady then informs me that it is regarding what she had sent that morning and only then does she agree to pick up the damn phone. *grabs a pillow from my bed and screams into it*

then amanda smiles at the computer as she calms herself down and continues with her work. and the bitches [or so i've coined them] come along to make noise. i don't want to deny that they do sound nice or are even possibly nice. it's just the fact that they have no respect for anyone who is considered lower than them in the fucking office place. so what, really, if i answer phone calls all day. do copying and pasting of contacts in universities. and other menial jobs which everyone else needs help with. does that make me less of a person or do you think i'm overpaid? because let me tell you, it's not fun having to run up and down just to ensure that i answer every damn fucking phone call that comes into this damn office. or that when you're doing something, the fucking phone rings and you've got to do two things or even three things at one damn time. how about when two people come and ask you to do something? "please help me do this now." "i need this done." what do i do? i have to try to do both as fast as possible and as well as possible don't i? or when i'm doing something which is needed urgently, and then someone else asks me to do something just for the minute. what gives you the damn right to look at me like i'm not doing my damn job when you leave for smoke breaks and coffee breaks far longer than the time i take to read a damn chapter of my book which i note, i no longer read my book aside from during lunch and before work starts. so what fucking right do you have to look at me like i'm over paid? damn you.

if you're wondering how what the hell i'm still doing in this job is because i need money. and the number of days it would require for me to find another job, i would rather be working. and blasting my damn ears with music than wasting my days and not earning any cash. so yes, what the fuck can amanda do when she needs the damn money. *grabs a knife from the kitchen and starts to stab the pillow* and just as of yesterday, i've got much longer list of things that need money which i as of currently do not have. mummy's new phone. utility bill for the canteen. phone bills. university education transportation to work. food for lunch. i've decided not to get new office clothes because there is no point and since i do not have enough cash, i might as well not bothered. after all, whose going to care if i wear the same outfit i wore two weeks ago? as for chinese new year, i'm planning to get the cheapest things. already i've decided to re-use my own skirt because i can't find another one and also because it would be too expensive to buy another one. i'm deciding if i should buy that tie, or should i just use a plain black tie or beg it off someone. and my shoes. oh god. my shoes. i don't know what to do. all i really want to do now is sit here and cry, but that is useless isn't it? *drowns 3 fingers of whiskey* i wish i had that amount of alchol here so i can do that. good night and good bye.

<3 you always