good evening.


there's something wrong with me. i'm crying, and i don't know why. it's just this ache where my heart used to be. and all i want to do is curl up on my bed and cry. and it is times like this i wish i wasn't alone. i'm so tempted to go dig up my blades now, but i don't think even in my desperate need i wouldn't be able to find them. did i mention? i found out that there wasn't any money deposited into my cpf account. now i don't even know how much money that bitch cheated me of. and then i find out that i don't matter enough to people for them to at least trust me. and on top of everything, i'm so fucking tired i just want to walk of the damn building and end it. who cares if life is precious when i don't matter? i want to call someone, i want a shoulder to cry on. but who can i call when the people i had looked to turned their backs on me? people as me why i bury myself in books, in reading, in writing. because there is no meaning in this world that i live in, when everyone is not who they seem. when everyone's so cold, and suspicious. or maybe in books, i can be whoever i want. or i can be myself. because in this world, being myself just isn't enough. especially not enough for everyone else.

<3 you always