good evening
i have submitted my application form for ntu and smu. i have as of late, been unable to navigate my way thought nus' website. and thus, i have decided to do it at home when i've got much more time. hahas. so today, it was slightly much better. despite the pain, there were more smiles. and maybe, just maybe, i've learnt that i actually am lucky.
missed him the entire day. even talking to max didn't help, neither did occupying my mind with university entry. but anyhow, it's getting harder to take each day as it comes. because each day that passes, it gets harder not to just tell you iloveyou and get it off my chest. what holds me back? the thought of losing you as even a friend, that's how much you mean to me. but a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do right? i don't know anymore.
tomorrow i have to be at nus by 6.30am. so i really should be getting off to bed. it's always nice to hear his voice every night, i wonder if things would change when he gets the girl. who am i kidding? of course it'll change, the dynamics always change when there is another girl involved. ah wells. amanda will continue smiling and be thankful for that one day in his arms; just like how you'll be thankful for that few days with your loved one. did i mention i could fall asleep hearing him over the phone? hahas. nights. just a short song, and a note.
i won't say [i'm in love]
[meg] if there's a prize for rotten judgement
i guess i've already won that
no man is worth the aggravation
that's ancient history, been there, done that
[muses] who'd ya think you're kiddin'
he's the earth and heaven to you
try to keep it hidden
honey, we can see right through you
girl, ya can't conceal it
we know how ya feel and
who you're thinking of
[meg] no chance, no way
i won't say it, no, no
[muses] you swoon, you sigh
why deny it, uh-oh
[meg] it's too cliche
i won't say i'm in love
i thought my heart had learned it's lesson
it feels so good when you start out
my head is screaming get a grip, girl
unless you're dying to cry your heart out, oh
[muses] you keep on denying
who you are and how you're feeling
baby, we're not buying
hon, we say ya hit the ceiling
face it like a grown-up
when ya gonna own up
that ya got, got, got it bad
[meg] no chance, no way
i won't say it, no, no
[Muses] give up, give in
check the grin, you're in love
[meg] this scene won't play
i won't say i'm in love
[muses] you're doing flips, read our lips
you're in love
[meg] you're way off base
i won't say it
get off my case
i won't say it
[mesus] girl, don't be proud
it's okay, you're in love
[meg] oh, at least out loud
i won't say i'm in love
what does living for the moment mean? i had it all planned out in my mind. i really did.
'i love you, i just thought you'd like to know. i hope this doesn't change anything between us. i just thought i'd like you to know before i never get the chance to tell you, i love you. i love you.' but it's so insincere over the phone, and a birthdy surprise is way too long. but we'll see how everything pans out, because amanda has already started her planning.
<3 you always
