good evening.

i was happy for a while today, and then my mood took the fast path down into the pool of depression. or maybe it's not my mood, it's just the things that happen around me that make me feel depressed. but let's not focus on why i'm depressed, although you should know by now. i was happy this evening, even if it was only for a while. ok, a very long while. it did start off as slight depression, i was depressed. moping around the house, talking to the dog and to myself. and then decided to check my mail and read the funny e-mail that lynn sent to me. and i started laughing until i cried a little. and after that, my mood shot right into the sky and the clouds disappeared! well, from that moment in time i was happy. kept smiling and just felt generally well. not to mention i started talking to him soon after.

i still don't know what i am going to do. i've decided to just take one day at a time. but how do i do that when i'm constantly wondering if he knows the truth or if he's just really playing with my heart. and now that he knows what noone else knows, where do i begin to cage up my heart? i really didn't mean to tell him, he asked. and i told. i don't even know why i told him. was it trust, or was it my lovesick heart? i'm placing my bets on trust, after all, i can say i do trust him. but then again, maybe i trust too easily? hahas. but really, where do i start to cage up my heart now? i really don't know. and if you ever stumble upon this blog; an answer to your question.

as for other matters, church and all. i'll just do what i always do. ignore them when there are more than one other person around who doesn't exactly get along well with me. i mean, it's worked with elvin. it's worked with jess. i don't see why it wouldn't work now with ben! and everyone else as well. *smiles*

all right, grand mother is back in the house. i better pack myself off to bed! before she comes in here raving and screaming like she always does. just this morning the invisible girl pissed her off and we were the recipients of her anger. nothing new there. so i should go now before i get pissed at her and start crying again. my eyes can't take it anymore and if i don't get some damn sleep into my system, i'm very likely to walk into a bus tomorrow. and then, bye bye. hahas. so i should go now. *hugs* thanks for reading! oh and before i go...

i absolutely adore that girl. we need to go to sentosa during the march holidays! you, me, gen and steffie! we'll have so much fun! all righty then, i should get going. take care! *hugs* all my love!