this is the worst fucking week of my goddamn life. maybe not the entire week, per se, but the last few days have just been pure, plain nonsense. anyway, i'm not going to be mentioning names, mainly because it's much easier to vent my frustrations this way. and if you happen to come across this blog, and happen to recognize the situation and recognize yourself, too bad, i don't give a fucking shit.

maybe it's the fact that i've been raised in ij, where we always appreciate what others have done, despite the wrongs that might have happened during the time of the event. apparently, to some people, all it matters is just to point out everything that was done wrong. now can you tell me what's wrong with that? i mean, it's not like all of us are slacking and lazing around on the job. everyone is put under more stress than you, have slept less hours than you, have done more goddamn work than you. so why the fuck are you making so much unnecessary noise? it doesn't matter if my attire was not situable. maybe it's my fault that i underestimated how much i can actually pull my skirt down. but did you have to make a goddamn fuss about every other thing that did go wrong? because frankly, i didn't think it was any of our fault. but let's start from the beginning shan't we?

maybe it was wrong for them to have eaten from the guest table. but did you forget the fact that we arrived at 6.30am in the morning? did you forget that between 6.30am and then, we were all doing work and had no time for breakfast? sure, some people like myself am able to forgo breakfast but there are some people who are geninuely hungry. so what the fuck was your problem? because seriously, all you could have done was pointed it out in a much nicer way; apparently you lost all your manners as you grew older.

lunch time. if you saw me eating; and even if you were talking about me at the de-briefing, let me tell you something. fuck off. i only had a chocolate bun in the morning because i rushed out of the house just to get to the event place on time. and it had already been seven hours since i last ate or drank anything. i was almost about to faint from hunger when i saw the food and so i just ate. unless you'd like me to faint in the middle of the exhibition hall, please do let me know. because we still have another event day tomorrow.

my attire. fine, if you want me to admit it. it was my goddamn fault. i know it was my goddamn fault. but what do you expect me to do? go out and buy a goddamn suit that i don't have the money for? i'm a fucking nineteen year old girl. i'm not some adult with years of working. i don't own a damn fucking suit. but you know what? i went to my aunt's place to get a damn jacket, in the middle of the goddamn fucking night. and did you care? obviously not, bastard. and i don't care if your face was black again today because my skirt was too short because you know why? that is the only fucking black skirt that i have which is presentable enough for your goddamn event. and no, i'm not going to fucking waste my money and buy a suit for your stupid events. you can always leave me at the office the next time, besides, it's obviously i'm not needed. and because of your fucking 'rule' i'm wearing the same goddamn skirt and jacket again tomorrow. you have no goddamn idea how much i hate you right about now.

and i will never understand why you keep blaming us when it is very obviously not our fault that some items during the day went wrong. is it our fault that the stupid, dumb, idotic bus driver was trying to pull a fast one on the helpers? is it our fault if the stupid mics are not working? do i look like a goddamn tech person to you? is it out fault that the caters were not wearing their vests while they served the guests? is it our goddamn fault? personally, i didn't think it was our fault.

and i still don't understand why i am put at the counter, when all she does is shift all the attention to her. all i did was try to do my duty, help the guests. did she really have to come and cut in and ask again what he had wanted? did she really have to? and stop walking into me will you, bitch. i don't care if your eyes are too small, or if your hair is too long, just quit walking into me. i don't care if you don't respect people younger or of lower status than you, because if trust me, when i'm pissed off, you'll never see the end of it. but really, if you hadn't realized, i do detest you. but seriously, who wouldn't get pissed? who cares if i admit i was in the wrong, did you have to stare with that haughty stare that you didn't do anything wrong? because at least today, i looked smarter than you, bitch. anyway, as you can tell, she pisses me off like no other. i mean, it's enough that i got to take it at work. but aren't i doing the same work as you? stop looking down your nose bitch, you'll walk straight to your death.

i'm still frustrated. i'm still annoyed. and i still feel like crying, which basically sucks. i don't even dare to talk to anyone, because i'll probably snap at them. i'm still talking to mummy, she still makes me smile. well, it seems that hardly anyone else can make me smile anymore. ah wells, amanda will try and make herself smile. i better go, surf the web, vent some frustrations, hopefully not cry. hahas. thanks for reading about my two crappy days. last day tomorrow. and i don't even feel like going back to the office on monday. *sigh* nights. iloveyou.