be careful, you might lose something important

"be not afraid of life. believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact." william james

"be not afraid of greatness. some men are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them." william shakesphere

"appreciation can make a day, even change a life. your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary." margaret cousins

"those who can laugh without a cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad." norm papernick

wishes are a dream your heart makes

straight 'a's for my 'a' level.
cd player cum radio.
a set of close and really good friends.
flat screen monitor.
creative zen.
memory cards for my digi cam.
charms for my charm bracelet.
head phones.
more books for my reading pleasure.
playboy print wallet.
jars of clay cd.
corset top with lace and strings.
that special somone to brighten up my day.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

loving you at 1:41 PM

good afternoon.

i just came back from lunch and i'm full. i've got a cup of juice here beside me, and it's helping to make me feel less bloated. so yes, amanda is going to start drinking juice after lunch everyday. and on weekends, she'd drink juice every time she gets the chance! hahas. i'm a determined kind of girl, didn't you know? hahas. yes, i'm in a much better mood now. i guess there really is no use being upset about anything, especially matters of the heart. every one's different, you can't please everyone. you can't make everyone happy. you can only do your best at making someone smile ^^ well, i'm going to post something i got from an e-mail. provided by steffie, i love that girl, and re posted by a million other people. i really would love it if my boyfriend would do it. but we don't always get what we want, right?

even the smallest action can have the biggest impact on someone else's life

give her one of your t-shirts to sleep in
leave her cute text notes
kiss her in front of your friends
tell her she looks beautiful
look into her eyes when you talk to her
let her mess with your hair
touch her hair
just walk around with her
forgive her for her mistakes
look at her like she's the only girl you see
tickle her even when she says to stop
hold her hand when you're around your friends
when she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her
let her fall asleep in your arms
get her mad than kiss her
tease her and let her tease you back
stay up all night with her when she's sick
watch her favorite movie with her
kiss her forehead
give her the world
write her letters
let her wear your clothes
when she's sad, hang out with her
let her know she's important to you
let her take all the photos she wants of you
kiss her in the pouring rain
when you fall in love with her, tell her
and when you tell her, love her like you've never loved someone before

that was sweet wasn't it? -sigh- now if only i could find a guy like that, and i might just be the happiest girl in singapore. hahas. well, i'm actually just checking through my old inbox which i accidentally reactivated. i realize more people send mail to that inbox than to my new one. hahas. but better to receive junk mail and chain letters there than to flood my new inbox. especially now that i'm still waiting for my uni posting letters! hahas. let's not talk about that right now, because it's bound to start depressing me.

today has been a relatively horrible day thus far. and it really doesn't look like it's going to get better any time. for one, my left ankle has start to ache. it doesn't hurt, it's just a persistent ache that refuses to go away. and i don't dare to twist my ankle to relieve the ache because i don't want to do any thing wrong to injure myself. second, my right foot baby toe hurts. i'm not sure if it's because of the shoe or if my nail is too long. either way, i think i'm going to cut my nail when i get home. and then there is my baby finger. can you believe that i cut my baby finger on a tape dispenser? hahas. i don't know how anyone can be that clumsy! but apparently i can be that clumsy. hahas. the throbbing pain has subsided and now it's just uncomfortable with the plaster i have on. hahas. not to mention i'm tired and sleepy. the yawning monster always insists on attacking me at work, and i just don't understand why. hahas. i am indeed running out of things to say.

i think i can safely say that the situation in church has been resolved. who really knows when anything is going to happen next, but till then, i'd just stick on for the ride. almost everyone i know is attached, and it really is upsetting. but it's not upsetting as it is annoying. see, now i'm getting a bit upset. hahas. maybe it still is best for me to remain a bachelorette. concentrate on my studies, enjoy guys and maybe dating will return to the scene when i'm nicely settled into my life. hahas. well, it's already 2pm. everyone is starting to come back from lunch and i really should be getting back to my work. thanks for stopping by. i'll try and post more regularly. i still have yet to get my stories updated. -argh- amanda is becoming lazy and a procrastinator. hahas. i really should go. thanks for stopping by! all my love, only for you.

<3 you always

Friday, April 13, 2007

loving you at 10:03 AM

good morning.

i'm at work, but it's extremely boring >.<>

yesterday's dinner was fun as usual. i always have fun out with lynn and aunty veron. it's almost like a crime to not have fun when you're out with them. hahas. we had dinner at M hotel. it was really nice! and cooked salmon is nice ^^ especially the way they made it at the hotel. hahas. lynn and aunty veron were happily having their salmon as me and mummy ate salad. it was hilarious when me and lynn decided to toss a salad ourselves. hahas. there really wasn't much to put in so we added smoked chicken although i'm not supposed to be eating chicken with this throat of mine, we never do listen to the rules do we? and the potato salad. hahas. mummy and aunt veron said that it looked like we just mixed a bit of vegetable and then added the already made salad on top of it. hahas. but it was fun. desert was chocolate! at first i wasn't really full after having dinner. then we had cakes, the small ones that come in a small plate by itself. and then i was full. but not that full as i still had chocolate coated marshmellows ^^ it's been such a long time since i've taken chocolate foundue. and yesterday's chocolate was indeed heavenly. hahas. after dinner we headed up to the bar for drinks ^^ and yes, it is true. alcohol does keep me awake. wide awake. after the drinks, which was pretty dull since there was music and we were sitting right in front of the live band. hahas. on the way back to their place i fell asleep. and then woke up to keep mummy company on the drive home. and then, it was prison break ^^ it's pretty cool how my whole week is filled with nice late night shows. it's just a wonder how i get up every morning and go to work. hahas. but i'm guessing that once school starts, i'd have to change my schedule. can't be late for classes, especially not when i live so far away from school. hahas.

talking about school just makes me want to sit here and sigh till no end. it's easy to wait in silence for the letters to arrive, be they bearers of good news or ill tradegy. either way, it's much easier to sit and wait in silence. but mother just had to bring that topic up on the drive home yesterday. what if i don't get accepted into any of the universities i applied to? i really don't know. hahas. but one thing's for sure, i'd be the first black sheep of the family. hahas. and it is probably without a doubt my grandma will start nagging at me the moment she sees me awake at 2am gaming. i'm sure even my mother will start. -sigh- i think i'd probably start working and take up a part time degree or diploma in accounting. that way, i guess i might be able to get a higher paying job. but enough about that now, my mood is already on it's way down to nothingness.

there is nothing to talk about my love life. hahas. do i even have one? hahas. whatever it is, i'm not even going to think about it. because it really doesn't matter anymore. nothing really matters anymore. -pout-

i really should go, i'm already beginning to yawn. how i'm going to survive today and go jogging tonight, i have no idea. but i'd make it through. someway, somehow. i'm out of here, maybe i'll blog another time when my mood is high ^^

<3 you always

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

loving you at 11:16 AM

good morning.

it's been a pretty long while since i last blogged. and i must say, it's really amazing how a person's life can change so drastically in such a short span of time. hahas. anyhow, it's an hour or so till lunch time, so i thought i'd blog for a bit before going for lunch. i was thinking of doing it instead in the afternoon, so i'd be kept more awake. but i wanna write just a one shot. i don't know about what yet, but perhaps love. everything needs love, doesn't it? but yes, i'd most probably post it on here. i think FictionPress is likely to ban me if i post it up there. hahas. and speaking of FictionPress, i will start to update my stories now that my new computer has been fixed and is ready for action. *smiles* just hang in there for a few, everything will be completed soon.

with regards to the situation in church. i'm just so confused i don't know what to do. i know i was wrong that day, and to whoever it may concern. i'm sorry. i didn't mean to do what he did to me to you. i just wasn't sure i wasn't going to start screaming at you if i did talk to you. but i hope you know that it's not your fault, and yes, i will do a personal apology. i just need to think it through, swallow my pride and hope to god i don't kill someone before i see you. but if you were wondering, it's really not your fault. it's my fault for taking it out on you.

my love life is still not in balance. hahas. on one hand, i wouldn't mind jumping head in into a relationship right about now. after all, where's the fun if precautions are taken at every step? but then, my heart fluctuates or was it just one time? i don't even know. the other boy is out of the picture, it's just me and the guy now. but then, his ex girlfriend just did have to come into the picture didn't she? hahas. and so now, amanda's sitting at her computer, staring longingly at her phone and wishing to the heavens that it'll ring. you know the ironic thing? just before his ex girlfriend came into the picture, i did ask him what we were suppose to be. hahas. i guess my brief affair with NC has really made me wonder if my relationships would ever get back to normal. but comparing my feelings for boy 1 and guy 2, i would definitely say that boy 1 was most probably a weak re-kindling of a flame for the image of the boy i previously dated, ie, NC. so in that aspect, i'm thankful the feelings have indeed faded. but guy 2. the feelings are different, they do burn probably as strong as the feelings i had for NC but they feel different. he asked me, if i loved him, and that really got me thinking. i can still say that when i was with NC, i did love him. because amanda doesn't jump into a relationship and not give her heart to the one she believes will treasure it. [and yes, her prince charming has heard her wishes.] and really, i'm all but ready to give him my heart. that is, if he'd have it. but now, the picture has changed so drastically and the gound under my feet has been washed from under me and i'm stumbling. i guess the only thing i can do is wait and see what happens. i guess our date this saturday has been cancelled?

the rest of my life has been rather uneventful. my posting results are still not out, so i suppose i'd just sit tight and fear the worst. oh, and hope for the best too. hahas. my stomach is growling already. and it's only 11.40am. i guess nothing else really tops what's happening in the love department. it just hurts knowing that there's a higher chance of him returning to his ex girlfriend. after all, don't people usually stay with what's known to them? *pout* i don't know what to do anymore. what i want to do is cry, and it doesn't help the fact that i've got virtually no time to myself. crying in the bath isn't an option; it just isn't. anyway, i'm heading out for an early lunch because uncle harris has an appointment. amanda's day has perked up so she's smiling pretty easy now ^^ thanks for reading, i'd try and blog more often and update my stories. hahas. take care, i love you, i think i really do.

<3 you always

loving you at 11:16 AM

good morning.

<3 you always

the girl
~amanda germaine~
~~eighteen~~ going on nineteen
ijian. cjcian.
cancer. 23june1988.
single, ~~available~~ and enjoying every minute of it!